An Open Letter To Someone I Care About

I remember 4 years ago, when we first met. You intimidated me a bit, which is hilarious looking back. We became fast friends and I loved to spend time with you. You were like a big sister to me in some ways. We shared some crazy, crazy nights of laughing until we cried. We talked about life and love and God. I was naive but you didn’t mind. You told me you wished you were too. Looking back, I wish the same for you. I respected you because you seemed to be moving forward despite many hurdles. You had big dreams and I believed in you.

I remember when things started to change. We were as tight as ever and then all of the sudden something happened. I knew what was going on, but I didn’t think it would affect you that much. I thought you were smarter than that. I was wrong, I guess. I remember the one day--the one specific conversation--that caused the shift. It seemed like nothing at the time but it was that conversation, casual as it was, that started your downhill decline. As the weeks went by, I could tell something wasn’t right but you wouldn’t listen, not to anyone.

I remember when you started keeping secrets from me. I cared so much and wanted to know what was wrong so I could help you, but you didn’t want my help. Were you ashamed? I remember the weeks where we barely talked. You were a mess but tried to put on a brave face. I saw right through it. You assured me that you were fine, but I knew you weren’t. Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me?

I remember the conversation that changed everything. You conveniently told me at the one time and place where I shouldn’t cry, but I did. So did you. We cried together and I hurt for you. I had hoped better for you. At least you came clean. I talked to you and thought I got through to you. I saw you were hurt and needed someone and I was there for you. I cried with you, talked with you and prayed with you for hours. I hurt with you and for you. It broke my heart to hear what had happened. I thought you genuinely wanted to move forward. The ensuing weeks proved me wrong.

I tried to put your pieces back together, but all you did was take them apart again. Slowly you lost everyone with your bad decisions. Has it been a long and lonely road? I’ve stuck my hand out to you but you rarely grab it. I still care about you and it hurts me deeply to see you ruin yourself. Its not worth it! All you are doing is digging a deeper hole. Its never to late for escape, but the further you go, the more painful it will be to escape. I’m sad to say that I’ll probably be the only friend you have left when that day comes.

I say ‘when’ because I know that day will eventually come. I still believe in you. You have far to many hopes and dreams to keep wasting away like you are. I know deep inside, you see what you are doing is wrong and you see that there is a better way. I know that some part of you still loves God. I know you still miss your innocence. I hope your day of freedom comes soon. I will be standing by your side to walk with you through the pain because you will be on your way to a better life. I won’t stop caring. I love you.

“A summer’s drive away from dying
A broken heart, nothing to lose
I know it hurts so bad just trying
To please the ones you hate to love

And I wrote this note about someone I used to know
So I remember how life can be so short
When you’re left alone to wonder how it is
Someone opens and shuts the door

I know you’re cold
Come home
Its a shame how short we all have come

You set your mind on cruise control
Knuckles grip the wheel in fear to let it go
Love is empty, love is cruel
Love it blindly breaks the rules
How could you have been a fool? 
Its something all of us go through
You choke back tears and swallow lies
But those wiper blades won’t fix your eyes
Count on having clouded vision for at least a little while

I know you’re cold
Come home
Its a shame how short we all have come
I know you’re cold
Come home
Please don’t face the headlights of the oncoming cars alone

We won’t forget the past
We won’t forget the past
And I know you’re cold

Save all the answers and I will let you go
I won’t look back, I won’t look back
Save all the answers and I will let you go
I will let you go
And I will let you go
Save all the answers and I will let you go
I won’t look back, I won’t look back
Save all the answers and I will let you go
I will let you go
And I will let you go

Come home
Please don’t face the headlights of the oncoming cars alone
And I will let you go”

Theres Still Strength Left In Us Yet

Eleven months ago, my favorite band released a new album called Memento Mori. The album as a whole is my favorite set of songs released by any band, inspiring me and challenging me in so many ways. One song in particular really just hit home for me, though. The song is called Arise. It begins as a seemingly dark song, with lyrics like "there's snow on your face and your razor blade;" however, the song as a whole is a hopeful and inspiring one.

We live in a world full of sad stories and pain. There are people dying because they don't have access to clean water or food. There are young girls being sold into sex slavery. There are tsunamis and earthquakes destroying already depraved parts of the world. There are people committing suicide rather than realizing that they are important and loved. All of these problems are solvable. Sure, we can't prevent earthquakes or tsunamis, but we can provide relief to those suffering as a result. We can help provide food and water to those who need it. We can end sex slavery. We can love those who need it.

"We'll cry tonight and in the morning we are new. Stand in the sun. We'll dry your eyes."
All too often, we are hardened to the sufferings in this world because we see it too often. We see so many homeless people that we are numbed to their plight. We hear so many statistics about worldwide poverty that we forget the people. We hear so many jokes about 'emo' people that we forget there are people actually suffering from depression. We need to stop and realize that there are injustices in the world. We need to feel pain for these people. We need to cry. We need to be angry. But we can't stop there. We can't just cry. We need to dry those tears, move past our anger and act.

"Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for. There's still strength left in us yet. Hold on to the world we all remember dying for. There's still hope left in it yet."
Most of us have, at some point, fought for this world. Whether it was something small like talking to somebody who was lonely or something huge like going on a missions trip, we all have invested ourselves into this world. We all have fought for it in some way. Sometimes that fight seems like to much, like we'll never make a difference. Sometimes it seems like we don't have any strength left to give and like what we're doing isn't making a difference because the world is so broken. But there is hope.

"So sleep tonight, we'll sleep dreamlessly this time. When we awake, we'll know that everythings alright."
We all need rest. We all need rejuvenation. The world wears on us just as it wears on those we are trying to help. We need Jesus. We need love ourselves. We need to reflect on the progress we've made so that we aren't bogged down by the trials we face. We need community to encourage us, to remind us we're not alone. Sometimes, we just need a break. We need to step away from life for a day and just enjoy quiet. When we get these things, we are reminded that everythings okay. We are reminded that what we are doing is worth it.

"Arise and be all that you dreamed."
This song lyric was the most personal to me. This was the most general and the most specific. It was the most convicting and inspiring. It was the one that moved me the most. It caused me to really look at myself. What do I want for my life? What moves me? What do I want to accomplish? What are the things I hope of doing? What are the things I only dream of doing? What are the things God has for me? How can I do those things?

I ended up adopting this phrase for myself as a sort of personal mantra. I have begun to plan things, things that other people probably think are crazy. But I am beginning not to care. God has planted these dreams into me for a reason. He has plans for me--and plans for you--that are greater than we could possibly imagine. He may only give us a small picture of His plan, but we must rise up and embrace it wholeheartedly. We will never know what things He plans to accomplish through us.

Arise and be all that you dreamed. Fight for love. Live to die. Come alive.